Wedding Traditions Explained

Whether it is giving away the bride, the tossing of the bouquet, and ‘something old, new, borrowed and blue’. What do these superstitions really mean? Where do they come from? Here is an explanation of some interesting British wedding traditions, and superstitions.

1. Why do we get down on one knee to propose?

The act of getting down on one knee is called ‘genuflection’ and the exact origin of this tradition is unknown, but there are a few ideas as to how it came about. The most prominent idea is that in the Middle Ages, men would bend down in front of the women they adored. In religion, kneeling in front of someone is a sign of loyalty, respect, and obedience. Today most people still get down on one knee to propose. It represents a certain vulnerability and a deep emotional connection, showing that you are willing to commit the rest of your life to giving your other half whatever they need and want.

2. What day should you get married on?

According to tradition, to marry during a full moon is unlucky, and during the religious period of Lent is also a poor choice. There is an old saying that goes, “if you marry in Lent, you’re sure to repent”. There is also an old English proverb about the day of the week your wedding falls upon:

Monday for health,

Tuesday for wealth,

Wednesday’s the best of all.

Thursday brings crosses,

And Friday losses,

But Saturday – no luck at all.

In terms of the time of day to get married, it has long been said that the couple should exchange vows as the clock’s minute hand is ‘ascending towards heaven’ or in other words, moving upwards.

3. Hen and Stag parties.

In Middle English, the word “hen” refers to a female bird, which is why a hen party is, generally, exclusively for the women in your life, although nowadays there are often exceptions to this rule to include close male friends. The term “hen party” dates to the 1800s, when it was used to refer to a ‘gathering of women’. The idea itself comes from Ancient Greek wedding traditions, where wedding celebrations were split into three parts with the first being an all-female feasting dinner called the ‘Gamos’. It was only during the mid-1960s that hen parties began to grow in popularity.

Stag parties emerged around a similar time and are also traditionally Greek. The first ever stag parties are said to have taken place in the Ancient Greek city of Sparta, where feasts were held to toast the groom and mark the end of a man’s youth.

4. The white dress

White has always had connotations of purity, so that is the main reason why brides would traditionally wear white on their wedding day. White is also closely linked to wealth, as during the Tudor era, only the wealthiest could afford white garments. Despite this, the trend of the white wedding dress was believed to have been started by Queen Victoria. Before her wedding to Prince Albert in 1840, brides would traditionally wear the most expensive dress they owned on their special day. In her diary, she wrote: “I wore a white satin dress with a deep flounce of Honiton lace, an imitation of an old design, and my jewels were my Turkish diamond necklace and earrings and dear Albert’s beautiful sapphire brooch”.

Traditionally, it is also seen as unlucky for a bride-to-be to see her completed bridal look before saying her vows. this has evolved however into some brides choosing to see their bridal look just once when it is completed.

5. Staying apart before the ceremony

When marriage was more of a business deal than for love, the future bride and groom were not allowed to see each other beforehand, for fear that they would pull out of the arranged marriage. This has evolved over time to simply be unlucky to see each other before saying ‘I do’, but others do not believe this and just want to build up excitement and get a surprise when they walk down the aisle and see each other looking so beautiful or handsome.

6. Why is it sometimes referred to as ‘Tying the Knot’?

During the Roman era, a common custom was to tie the bride and groom’s hands together during the ceremony with a ceremonial rope or ribbon. The couple could not be released from this bond until the marriage was official. This tradition, referred to as ‘handfasting’, is still a very common practice amongst various cultures around the world.

7. Why does the bride wear a veil?

The original wedding veil is one of the oldest parts of the bridal ensemble. It dates to ancient times when the bride was covered from head to toe, to represent modesty and the idea of an ‘untouched’ maiden. Some believed that the wedding veil hid the bride’s beauty and used to ward off evil spirits. Another explanation is that during the times of arranged marriages the bride’s face would be covered until the groom had committed to the marriage. Most times in this case the bride and groom had never met before their wedding day. Again, Queen Victoria was the first modern monarch to be married a veil, setting a trend for years to come.

It is also believed, that after your wedding, you should not let a friend try on your veil. It is supposed to mean they will run off with your husband!

8. Giving away the bride

For many fathers and daughters this tradition is a poignant, beautiful moment during the wedding ceremony, but its true meaning dates to the Middle Ages, when daughters were considered their father’s property and quite literally sold to the groom, in exchange for a dowry.

Nowadays the bride has more of a say, and anyone of her choosing can walk her down the aisle, being a great honour with deep emotional meaning.

9. Bridesmaids

Most bridal parties will include bridesmaids. In Ancient Rome, the purpose of having bridesmaids at a wedding was to protect the bride. They would each wear the same dress as the bride to confuse the evil spirits and prevent them from finding her. As a result, the couple would avoid being cursed on their wedding day.

10. Groomsmen

During the days of ‘marriage by capture’ traditionally, the groom selected his groomsmen based solely on their skill in battle and with a sword, the best of whom took the mantle of best man. This was so that they would be able to protect the bride and groom from any potential threats during the ceremony.

11. Flower Girls

The age-old wedding tradition of a flower girl stems from an Ancient Roman tradition where young virgins would carry sheaths of wheat during the ceremony, which was believed to bring on well-being and good fortune to the newlyweds. Over time the sheaths of wheat have been replaced with flowers that are scattered along the path that leads up to the altar.

12. The wedding rings

Wedding rings appear to have been a custom since the time of the ancient Egyptians. The circle represents eternity because it does not have a beginning or an end. Egyptian women would wear rings made of papyrus around their wrists and ankles. Romans then began to substitute the material with iron, which ultimately led to the use of gold to make the first betrothal rings.

The custom of the ring finger comes from the Ancient Egyptians, who wore their wedding rings on the fourth finger of the left hand. This custom, still used today, came from the belief that that is where the ‘vena amoris’ (the vein of love) began, leading all the way to the heart.

13. The ring bearer / pageboy

During Victorian times, a pageboy was responsible for carrying a bride’s train down the aisle along with a prayer book. Around about the same time, Victorians began to place the wedding rings on small pillows as a display of their wealth. This is because pillows used to be very expensive and were luxury items that only the elite members of society could afford. Eventually, it became the pageboy’s responsibility to carry the ring pillow down the aisle and is a tradition that has evolved into the ring bearer that we are familiar with today. Of course, nowadays it doesn’t have to be a human, with a lot of couples opting to trust this sacred duty to their beloved dogs!

14. Old, new, borrowed & blue

This fun tradition is based on an old rhyme by an unknown English poet: “Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue, and a silver sixpence in her shoe.” The old represents the past, new stands for the future. Borrowed refers the fact that you should borrow something from someone who is happily married, it is alleged that the item will bring you good luck for your marriage. The colour blue colour was believed to ward off evil, and although white is often thought to represent purity, it is blue that represents this as well as fidelity. It is why the Virgin Mary is often associated with a blue robe. Nowadays, the final line about the sixpence is often not quoted. But as you may have guessed, it refers to wealth. Traditionally the sixpence should be gifted by the bride’s father who wished for the couple to have good fortune and prosperity and worn in the left shoe.

15. The bridal bouquet

A bouquet was not originally used because it was pretty, it was actually to mask the smell of the bride, especially during the Elizabethan era when only the rich could afford to bathe and wash their clothes, and even that was maybe once every couple of weeks. Before perfumes existed, strong smelling herbs and flowers were used. Garlic was also often used for the reason of not only masking smell, but to drive away evil spirits. Over time this was replaced by flowers, which in themselves have many different meanings in different cultures around the world.

16. Why does the bride stand to the left of the groom?

The bride stands to the left of the groom during the wedding ceremony so that the groom can protect her with his left arm and use his sword with the right (this is very similar to the reason why spiral staircases should always ascend clockwise, so that defenders can swing a sword down the stairs with their right arm).

Traditionally, the groom would have needed to fight anyone who was trying to steal his wife – mostly members of her own family, since it was common for them to think she had been ‘stolen’.

17. The bouquet toss

During the more barbaric times of 15th century Britain, there was a peculiar tradition at the end of the wedding day. The guests would have to try and tear off bits of the bride’s dress, flowers, or hair. People believed that grabbing a piece of the bride’s outfit would pass some of her good luck on to them. However, the guests could get very rowdy, so a tradition evolved where the bride would simply toss her flowers at the mob and run for her life.

Now, the bride throws the bouquet behind her, to the waiting female guests at the reception and it is believed that the person to catch the bouquet, will be the next person to marry.

18. The wedding garter

The whole tradition behind the wedding garter dates to the Dark Ages, where it was considered good luck to take home a piece of the bride's clothing. Family and guests at the wedding would accompany the newlyweds to the bedroom to ensure that they arrived safely and would try to rip the bride’s dress to keep a ‘lucky’ piece of it for themselves.

This tradition soon turned into wearing and then removing a garter, to protect the bride from over-enthusiastic participants in the wedding party. The bridal garter was also seen as proof of the consummation of marriage, with the groom presenting the garter to family and friends following the couples’ first night together as man and wife.

Nowadays the role of the garter is like that of the bouquet toss, but this is one for the male attendants of the reception.

19. Throwing rice

This joyful wedding custom has its roots in ancient Rome. Throwing grains of wheat or oats at newlyweds was thought to bring them fertility and wealth. These days, many people prefer confetti, but it was the Victorians who first used shredded paper. Those who are particularly eco-conscious can opt for the many biodegradable options, or the very romantic flower petals.

20. The wedding cake

Since cakes represent fertility, Ancient Romans would bake wheat cakes and break them over the bride’s head. Soon it became customary to stack these wheat cakes one on top of the another, as tall as they could go. During medieval times, the bride and groom were challenged to kiss over the tower without knocking it over. If successful, they would enjoy a lifetime of good fortune as a couple. Pies, buns, and cakes have played a part in British weddings for centuries. By the 1800’s the tradition had evolved: relatives would leave a pie hidden underneath the bride’s pillow. The modern UK custom, where the couple cuts a slice out of a wedding cake, is a focal point at any reception today, a tradition rooted in history when the first cut was made by the bride to ensure the marriage would be blessed by children.

21. Wedding favours

The tradition of gifts for wedding guests has been around for hundreds of years. The very first wedding favours were known as ‘bonbonnieres’ and were given to guests as they are today. The meaning behind a wedding favour is that it is a symbol of good luck. Today, guests usually look forward to something sweet for their favour, but many centuries ago bridal parties would give their guests a sugar cube as a sign for wealth. Sugar cubes were seen to be very expensive and therefore were only available to the rich.

Over time sugar cubes became affordable to everyone and were later substituted for five almonds coated in sugar (also interestingly known as ‘confetti’) representing health, wealth, fertility, happiness and long-life. Almonds are a still a popular traditional wedding favour to choose, but many brides and grooms provide other small gifts or donations to charitable causes in their guests’ names.

22. The first dance

In the grand old days of royal balls, the first dance was normally the ‘opening number’ that kicked off the party. It was customary for a male guest of honour to invite the lady of the house to join him in the first dance. This tradition subsequently became a wedding custom. The host, usually the bride’s father, would dance with her first, followed by the groom.

23. Cans tied to the wedding car bumper

The wedding tradition of tying cans to the bumper of the wedding car comes from the French custom of throwing a ‘charivari’ for the couple. This was essentially a celebration that took place on a night before the wedding. Neighbours would walk down the streets and bang their pots and pans to make as much noise as possible throughout the village to scare away evil spirits before the wedding. Since cans make noise when dragged behind a moving car, the classic charivari was adapted to simply tying cans to the wedding car bumper.

24. The honeymoon

Unsurprisingly, honeymoon history is a bit gloomy, just like many wedding traditions. the honeymoon dates from the days of marriage by capture when, after snatching his bride, the groom would take her away to a secret location, safe from discovery by her angry family members. He would keep her there until the family would either give up the search or the bride would become pregnant, making her return impossible.

Later the honeymoon abduction was practiced in ritual form, so now, the groom was taking the bride away with her family’s consent, both sides knowing full well a dowry would be offered and accepted once the deed was done.

The word "honeymoon" itself is derived from the Scandinavian practice of drinking mead, or fermented honey, during the first month of the marriage (measured by one moon cycle) in order to improve the likelihood of conception. The word also showed up in the 1500s "as a term to warn newlyweds about waning love." The message was clear: "As the moon wanes, so shall your love."

25. Carrying the bride over the threshold

This back-breaking wedding custom came to Britain from Germany. In the days of the Germanic tribes, the groom had to hoist the bride over his shoulder and carry her into his hut. Why? It made her look less enthusiastic about the wedding night and was therefore regarded as a guarantee of her chastity. It later took on the meaning of protecting the bride from evil spirits that may have been lurking in the new matrimonial home, particularly as according to legend, the soles of her feet were at the greatest risk from evil.